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additional flushing required

August 14, 2008

We had just arrived at the St. Louis airport after a painful 3 1/2 hour flight from Salt Lake City. All I wanted to do was drop the child, who had been making my life a living you-know-what, in my husbands arms and find a bathroom where I could have a minute to myself.

My potty routine in public places is probably pretty similar to many women out there. I grab a huge wad of toilet paper to wipe up any seat drips. Then I carefully position one of those toilet seat protectors in an attempt to create a germ-free potty environment, and then proceed as normal. Well, there is one area where I may differ from other women. I can’t “go” if there is something already in the toilet. Even if it is only the wad of TP that I just used to clean up the seat, it bugs me. So I was contemplating how to get the auto-flush toilet to flush down the wad of paper. Do I do a little dance in front of the sensor, or is there some kind of a button somewhere? Then I noticed a little sign on the wall that read, “If additional flushing is required, press here.”

Simple enough.

Pushing said button resulted in a massive vortex of flushing that immediately sucked my seat liner down the toilet. So I tried to position another seat liner over the seat, but as the toilet was still flushing, it was also sucked down the drain. So I wait. Still flushing. A minute goes by. Still flushing.

I finally hear the water begin to slow down, so I attempt another seat liner. But the motion of my reaching activated the sensor. WHOOSH! Another seat liner down the toilet.

It feels like I’ve been standing in this stall for 10 minutes waiting for the flushing to stop. My distaste for “going” in a toilet with something in it is second only to my fear of “going” while the toilet is flushing. But by now, the sound of niagara falls in the porcelain bowl is making it really hard for me to wait any longer. So finally I realize that I am going to have to hold the seat liner in place while I “go” over the ever-flushing toilet.

I finally manage to accomplish my goal and burst out of the stall, away from the possessed toilet. I wash my hands and can still hear the toilet flushing. Check the make-up. Still flushing. Head out the door. Still flushing. Even now, days later and hundreds of miles away, I think I can hear the sound of that toilet still flushing.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Debby Morton permalink
    August 14, 2008 10:00 pm

    Great story Kendra, you really made me laugh.

  2. Lora permalink
    August 17, 2008 7:51 pm

    That’s so funny. Try doing the same thing with a little girl that is terrified that the toilet is going to flush while she is sitting on it. I’ve never seen a child move so fast!

  3. cheesecake61 permalink
    August 17, 2008 8:36 pm

    That’s great! I needed a pick-me-up today. Thanks for sharing, laughter is soooo good. I can identify with what you’re saying about those auto-flush toilets. They used to have them where I work, but not anymore. Maybe they had too many problems or complaints. I know I had my share of issues with them. Anyway, thanks again for sharing your experience.

  4. laurenst permalink
    August 18, 2008 7:53 am

    I finally am updating myself on your blog. Oh my! So very funny!

  5. scrabblenut permalink*
    August 18, 2008 8:11 am

    Yes, I have to say, the one positive thing about that experience was that it was only me struggling with the toliet – not me and some potty-averse child. 🙂

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