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a "moo" in the night*

August 29, 2008

*Originally published March 2008

Last night, I was laying in bed, nearly asleep, and my husband says to me, “what was that?”

Me: huh?

Husband: Is somebody “mooing?”

Me: What? I didn’t hear anything.

Then I heard it… “Moooooo.”

Me: Oh, great.

I knew immediately what it was – the Little People farm in the baby’s room above my head. We had been playing with it earlier, and I remember noticing that it was malfunctioning. It is supposed to make an animal sound whenever you put the animal in its “home” in the barn. But earlier that day, it seemed to be a little mixed up. You put the pig in place and hear “oink, oink” followed by “moooooooo.” Put the chicken in its place and you hear, “cluck, cluck, moooooooooo,” as if the cow was upset that the other animals were getting all the attention. Now the cow had found his moment to be in the spotlight.

Moooooooooo. Moooooooooo.

I knew I had to do something about it. I knew it was only a matter of time before the mooing woke the baby. So, I crept up the stairs, carefully considering my plan. Open the door. Grab the toy. Get out.

Moooooooooo…… I listened at the door. So far, it seemed, the baby was still sleeping. So I very carefully opened the door. The baby stirred at the sound of the door, so I waited a few seconds before tiptoeing into his room. MOOOOOOOO.

Baby: Waaaaaaaaaaaah!

Me: crap


He immediately jumped up, terrified I’m sure at the image of a large cow hovering over him. I pulled him out of bed, while he screamed in terror. After a few minutes of reassurance, he was ready to go back to bed. So I gathered up the farm and headed back down the stairs.

Mooooooooooo! Moooooooooooo!

Me: shut up!

Of course those things don’t have an off switch, and the benevolent safety-conscious Fisher Price ensured that the batteries could not be removed without a screwdriver. So I sat in my bathroom, trying not to disturb my husband, removing the batteries from the cursed toy, mumbling to myself about how much I hate talking toys.

One Comment leave one →
  1. August 29, 2008 11:30 am

    I think I would have opened the door and chucked the thing out! Been there. Possessed toys that talk in the night and the reactions they cause – sounds like a documentary.

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